This Is William
by phirephox666
Summary: William was an ember, William the Bloody was a fire, The Big Bad was a blaze, and Spike? Spike is the fire burnt out, the ashes.


**Title: **This is William

**Author: **PhirePhox666

**Fandom: **Buffy: The Vampire Slayer/Angel

**Pairing/Characters: **Spike/Angel(us), vague mentions of Spike/Dru. Mentios of Buffy et al, and Dru and Darla.

**Rating: **PG-13

**Warnings:** Mentions of death, torture, blood, pain, ect., ect. Slash. Mentions of Het.

**Summary: **William was an ember, William the Bloody was a fire, The Big Bad was a _blaze_, and Spike? Spike is the fire burnt out, the ashes.

**Disclaimer: **I just got a letter in the mail. They are giving me Spike and Angel. Oh, wait, you mean that was a dream? No wonder. I guess they aren't mine, nor are the shows or any other associated characters.

**Word Count:** 1,110

**Dedication: **For Aslan.

**Prompt:** None.

**Excerpt: **William was an ember, William the Bloody was a fire, The Big Bad was a _blaze_, and Spike? Spike is the fire burnt out, the ashes.

**A/N:** Er... I really like Spike and this idea popped into my head so I wrote it. Sorry to all my follows of The Plan. I've had one review and am feeling supremely unmotivated because of that. I am working on it though so no worries. About this, it's written a little oddly but I like it. Not betad so any mistakes are my own. Reviews and Flames are Welcome. Hope you enjoy.

This is William

This is William.

A poet, full of pretty words and idealistic views on life. Full of innocence and life. An English gentlemen, born and bred and educated, who loved his books and words. Words of poetry, of love, of tragedy, of beauty and anguish, of pleasure and pain beyond measure. He loved words because of the pictures they painted, the worlds they created, the way they could be twisted in to all different meaning. The way you could trust them more than any single person.

_He is a frail slip of a human being, hardly something that should catch any vampires attention. He has not know death, nor has he known pain. He is nothing to any vampire until Angelus sees him. Then he is a demon just like them._

This is William.

A fledgling vampire, barely turned. Confused and searching and lost. Sired by Angelus, Angelus who he worships, adores, wants. Nothing compares to his sire. Not Dru, his dark princess, not Darla, his grand-sire, not any of his vampire siblings. To him Angelus is a god whose every word is to be taken as law. A god who creates him, punishes, teaches, rewards.

_He is a vampire yet still a bad one. He would have loved his mother if she had not been perverted by her change. It is Angelus who creates him, changes him. Angelus teaches, trains him to be something else. Punishes him when he does wrong, rewards him when he does right. Awakens a thirst he did not know existed in him. A thirst for blood and pain and death._

This is William the Bloody.

A vampire, a killer, trained by Angelus. Ruled by Angelus, who he still worships, perhaps more than before, without question. He is Angelus' favored, Angelus' bed-mate, Angelus' pet. And he revels in it, loves it. He's a ledgend like this, carving his name into history with his bare and bloody hands. Fighting side by side with _Angelus_ who is worshiped by humans and vampires alike. An assassin of the highest degree and everyone knows that he is the favored in Angelus' family, for his skill and loyalty to only one master.

_He is a vampire, an excellent vampire whom Angelus shows off, _flaunts_, to the others. He follows Angelus and a river of blood flows behind them. He follows Angelus and then Angelus is gone. He follows him even then, only it's not really Angelus and all he wants is for Angelus to look at him. Look at him with those prideful eyes and all he can see is the disgust that haunts them and it hurts. A century spent and all that's left is the shell of a vampire._

This is The Big Bad.

A villain whose love of blood and power more than anything. Who refuses to ally himself with anyone or anything. A vampire who is loyal to himself and himself only. He fears nothing, laughs at every vampire, disdains every human, every bag of flesh and blood. And he hates, hates the one he used to worship. Hates Angelus for leaving him without a word, for the disgust and the disdain in 'Angel's' eyes every time they meet. Hates him for becoming Angel without explanation. Hates him for making William care and then abandoning him.

_When Buffy defeats him he falls. When The Initiative takes him he breaks. He was Spike before, chosen this name, earned it, but now it's different. There's nothing behind it. Now he's stuck there, stuck in Sunnyhell, with his would-be enemies. He's falling apart and there is no one to put him back together. Dru is gone, gone, gone chasing something he doesn't want to understand and not wishing to be found. This, this is all that's left._

This is Spike.

A remnant, all that's left of William, William the Bloody, The Big Bad. William was an ember, William the Bloody was a fire, The Big Bad was a _blaze_, and Spike? Spike is the fire burnt out, the ashes. Chipped and unable to function like a normal vampire, forced to work with humans. The humans that he so disdains. Forced to admit, to himself if no one else, that he doesn't truly hate what's left of Angelus, Angel the vampire with a soul. He envy's and wants. Spike can see the roots of Angelus in Angel. Can see the similarities in their expressions, movements, words. Buried deep inside himself is his devotion and loyalty to Angelus, Angel, Liam, his sire.

_When Angel comes to Sunnyhell he wants to scream. Wants to run, destroy, rage against the world. He doesn't. If there is anything he's learned since Angelus and then Dru left it's patience. He knows he's half-mad with the guilt that his soul has forced upon him. Angel being there stirs something else up in him. Rage, sorrow, fear, abandonment, jealousy, devotion, loyalty, need. And, _oh god_, it hurts, makes him want to do nothing more than flee, hide or destroy someone, something, _everything_. Angel's there and he seeks Spike out and he starts speaking and Spike can't stand it for a moment longer. Maybe he screams, maybe he hits Angel, maybe he shocks the other vampire, maybe he cries. When Angel gently embraces him it's altogether the most frightening and exhilarating thing he's done for years. Then he's being swept away and the world abruptly shifts. _

This is William.

A master vampire, a vampire with a soul, what he once disdained. If Spike was the ashes he is a flame, protected from the world, growing slowly. Wrapped in the circle of Angel's arms, relearning himself. Regaining what he lost when Angelus left him, became Angel. Relearning love because he has always loved, cherished, adored Angel even when he hated him. Angel, the only one he's ever been completely loyal to, the only one he's eve followed without some alternative motive. Because Angel is the only one who's ever seen past who he pretends to be. He's relearning, regaining revealing himself. Sharing his favorite books, his poetry, rebuilding the castles of words that he'd torn down by becoming William the Bloody. With him, through it all, is Angel. His Sire, his lover, his friend. Who cherishes and adores him equally and together they roam the Earth until the end of it's days.

_He's a master vampire, a man with a soul, a man who has never stopped loving even when he had a demon deep inside him. He is as ever changing as his life is. This, however, is the one thing he wants to stay static._

_Finis._


End file.
